I live in two worlds, a fantasy world in my mind and the real world in which I am present and physically live in.  There is a clear emotional, psychological and spiritual gap between these two worlds.  Over time it has become increasingly difficult to maintain the visions and realities of these two very different places.  Battling between the two worlds and trying to discover who I am is proving to be quite difficult.  Why are there two worlds to begin with and how do I choose to live in a world that allows me to be the greatest I can be?

Let me first draw you a picture of my fantasy world.  It’s a place far off in my mind, it’s Earth as we know it but with a few changes.  The world has a radiant positive energy about it, where people have become conscious and aware of the mind, ego and spirit.  It is a world where everyone meditates, does yoga, eats healthy, helps one another, lives clean and isn’t so concerned about material and monetary gains.  In this world, there is nothing that I cannot do.  I can be anything I want to be. I am an entrepreneur, philanthropist, teacher, guru, student, public figure, and etc.  In this world I have the ability to change peoples hearts and minds and guide them to ultimate happiness.  I can motivate others to reach a level within themselves that they never understood.  In my fantasy world, I am an inspiration.  Again, this is just a fantasy.

However, this is a far cry from what the reality actually is.  I know that by admitting to the world of my current reality I may lose credibility and professionals reading my views may deem me unreliable or incompetent.  But, I have to be honest and I have to share what is real.  In the real world most people, including myself, are not conscious and fully aware nor are they practicing healthier lifestyle principles.  In the real world I am a single, divorced woman with no children, but, I am a sister, daughter, cousin and friend to quite a few.  I feel inadequate and inferior to my peers and the many celebrities, athletes, professionals, and etc.  I am fragile and confused and lack direction in my life.  In my reality, I am a Jill of all trades and master of none.  I live with my parents and my brother and my greatest accomplishment thus far was graduating from post secondary studies and buying my very first brand new car.  Soooo, I don’t really have a lot of cards in my favour to be this amazing inspirational person that I dream of becoming.  In my reality, I am just a simple, ordinary, maybe even below average and lost human being.

When I read the two paragraphs above, it almost seems as though I suffer from multiple personality disorder or that I’m just crazy.  How can one human being feel so different on the inside while her surrounding REAL world proves to be completely basic and void of any greatness?  I need to understand why I created two worlds.  The reality is that I was unhappy in my REAL world and thus conjured up a FANTASY world in an effort to cope with my shortcomings.  My FANTASY allowed me to create a world where my weaknesses didn’t exist.  But, there is a real disconnect between my FANTASY and REAL world.  The disconnect occurs because of a confusion of who I am .  What is stopping me from being the person I envision in my fantasy world?  Is it the lack of money, social skills, the right connections, or the adequate professional training?  It’s actually none of that.  I am my own limitation. By choosing to focus solely on what I lack versus what I am and can be creates an emotional, psychological and spiritual gap within my own being and hinders me from pursuing opportunities.  Focussing on the bad only fuels the fear that already exists within and creates a divide between reality and fiction.

So as time goes on to maintain my sanity, I realize I have to make a conscious choice of who I am and want to be from my two worlds.  Do I accept how I feel in the REAL world or do I believe in what I can be from what I conjured up in my FANTASY world.  I cannot physically leave the REAL world unless I die of course.  But I can emotionally, psychologically and spiritually close the gap and choose to live out my FANTASY.  In my fantasy world, I like who I am, what I do, where I’ll go, the lack of fear within me while having the presence of confidence and peace of mind.  In my FANTASY world I can finally be ME.  I have to make a conscious choice to close the gap between my FANTASY and REAL world and know that there is no separation. I have to accept and choose to live in a world that allows me to bring the power I have and feel in my FANTASY world while living out my reality.

Time to reflect:

Ask yourself if you live in two worlds?  Do you live in a FANTASY and REAL world like me?  Do you feel like you have a lot more to offer given your REAL world limitations?  If you do, close that gap of what you think is or can be and just be, do and live.  I strongly urge you to consciously CHOOSE to live in a world that will make you the person you want to and can be.  Choose to be the greatest YOU.  It is a choice, and the sooner you realize that, the happier you will be.

It is by choice, not by chance that we change our circumstances. ~ Nadia Sahari