What to do when life burns you

Recently I posted a blog called “Let it burn”, about using negative feelings created by your mind to fuel and drive you toward accomplishing goals or overcoming negativity.  The reason why I posted that blog was because out of nowhere, through no fault of my own and while trying to do a good deed, I was stricken with an unfortunate incident that resulted in the loss of my assets and all my future investments.  All the hard work over the course of my life and predominantly the last 5 years amounted to absolutely nothing, financially, because of this incident.  I was feeling so much hate, anger, frustration, sadness, betrayal, regret and doubt in myself and this world.  I couldn’t understand how I went from feeling so positive and high on life and motivation to being dropped a million feet below ground level and into an abyss of darkness.

This compelled me to write my blog as a means to help channel my feelings and release the negativity.  After I wrote the blog, I had a different attitude toward this ordeal.  I was slowly drifting away from behaving the old way and consciously trying to handle this situation a new way.  I usually don’t publicly admit my flaws or share my lows, but I felt this time it was necessary.  I was being true to who I am and doing something that my inner voice guided me to do.  As I learned to handle this ordeal and move past it, I learned to consciously apply tools that could help guide others through similar situations.  Because life decided to burn me yet again, I finally learned what to do.

The universe taught me an invaluable lesson through this ordeal.  I never appreciated and understood the value of my lows until this time, when my character was truly tested.  During this ordeal I experienced a plethora of emotions.  At first I resorted to my old ways of behaving and handling situations.  I cried and felt sorry for myself and had a self defeating attitude about the situation and wanted to give up.  Then anger developed because it wasn’t fair that I had to deal with this after being good for so long, I didn’t deserve this.  Followed by hurt and betrayal that the universe would deliberately, through no fault of my own, try to teach me a lesson in the midst of being on a good and positive flow all to slow me down.  Then to finally accepting, handling and moving past this ordeal with confidence, contentment and fulfillment.

I have personally learned to cope with my problems in life by documenting how I feel.  I usually write in a diary or journal or sometimes video tape myself.  I do this because it allows me to express what I am going through with no judgment.  After doing that, I choose an activity that will rid me of the negative feelings, either through exercise, prayer, or meditation.  After reinforcing the positive feelings I concentrate on being grateful for the event and consciously move on.  When life burns you, you can either fall or use it to make you stronger.  I am not about to let life destroy me when I fought so hard to be created.  So here is a true depiction of my emotions and how I coped with one of life’s burns.  Maybe you can try something similar next time life tries to burn you.  I strongly suggest you try incorporating meditation or prayer if you haven’t tried it already.

How I dealt with one of life’s burns:

  • I cried
  • I felt sorry for myself and slept for days
  • Didn’t eat, stopped working out and even going out
  • Allowed my mind to race about all the possible negative outcomes
  • Screamed at the world, God and the universe for allowing this to happen and declaring my hate
  • Caught myself becoming this ugly, hateful, deceitful and pitiful human being ready to give up and blame everything else to justify behaving this way
  • Realized I didn’t want to be this type of person that would allow life “situations” to affect me this drastically and change me from being this calm and collected person
  • Needed to immediately calm myself down from the hysteria I was feeling on the inside and what I was portraying on the outside as I threw a hissy fit
  • Started praying and calling out to God, asking for help and guidance
  • An inner voice kept nagging at me to voice how I was feeling, out loud even if no one was listening, so I turned to my computer and wrote my blog “Let it burn” to express how I was feeling at that exact moment
  • I felt anger and needed to express that anger and use it to fuel my motivation instead of have it use and consume me
  • I had to make a conscious decision to use my feelings to my advantage
  • I then immediately turned to meditation to help look inward, I performed an extreme deep breathing meditation to help relax my hysterical soul and to calm myself as I cried
  • I concentrated so hard on the breathing that I released all the sadness, tension, hate and anger and I became still and calm to the point where I couldn’t even remember why I was feeling so hysterical seconds before
  • I felt embarrassed and ashamed of my initial reaction of hate and anger toward God, the world and the universe
  • I finally accepted the situation for what it was, a learning experience and to be grateful for the grander scheme of things, this situation was truly a blessing in disguise
  • Thanked myself for listening to my inner voice and allowing my inner voice to speak louder than the psychotic voices of hate created by my mind
  • Documented my journey through this ordeal and released negative feelings while utilizing them appropriately, and developed positive feelings to help reinforce my true character, a warrior that never gives up
  • Came up with a contingency plan for the new year

Time to reflect:

Are you going through something right now that is really testing your character.  Is it making you doubt everything you ever believed in or worked hard for?  Do you want to give up and allow defeat to consume you?  My friend, trust me when I say this, it will get better.  But you have to choose to make it better for yourself.  You cannot allow your mind to over power your inner voice, which will calm and guide you.  Your mind will try to scare you but you have to choose not to listen and choose to concentrate on using that fear to motivate you.  If you catch yourself feeling like the old you, that’s your inner voice guiding you and telling you to change how you’re feeling.  Then choose to feel different by meditating or doing an activity that will force you to change or express your feelings through some outlet.  Focus on feeling calm and releasing the tension.  After concentrating on feeling good and grateful, be thankful for the experience, document it if you wish, and allow the negativity of the event to simply pass your life and think about what you want to do next.  Good luck 🙂 

mindbodysoul

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger”. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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