Regression

I am human.  No matter how motivated or strong I may be, from time to time, my emotions get the better of me.  I take pride in the progress I’ve made so far toward my personal growth.  I am in control and have a plan that I am consciously sticking too.  But, a few days back, one of my closest friends sent me a text msg claiming that my ex-husband posted pictures of his newborn son and his family.  I already knew deep down that he had moved on and was well aware that his life continued without even a hiccup.  But, the reality of seeing it with my own eyes struck a sensitive chord.

My initial reaction was to smile from ear to ear as I looked upon his beautiful, cute little round face.  He is so perfect with his tiny nose, round eyes, and a head full of hair.  My heart felt such joy as I looked at their happy family and wished them nothing but health and prosperity.  Then as I continued to gaze over the picture a shadow of doubt was cast in my mind.  Doubt quickly set in and a flood of emotions came into my soul making me question whether I had made the right decision or not.   I completely regressed.

All the progress I made emotionally to help heal my soul reverted back to my early stages of pre-growth.  I went right back to how I felt before I had the courage to move on and be content with my decision.  As I started to regress I realized there were things that I could do to help me get over this.  I needed to focus and give myself some tough love.  I always look for sympathy and victimize myself with situations that have nothing to do with me.  In this case, after regressing to my old ways of feeling bad I realized I was not going to allow myself to repeat the same patterns of dealing with how I felt.  This time, I was going to give myself some tough love, no more Ms. Nice Girl.  I’ve been way to nice on myself in the past and that in turn would hinder my progress and in fact, would sometimes even push me backward.  This time, the strong me took over and consciously admitted some hard facts and recited some affirmations.

  • So what if he moved on, that’s a fact, you already knew this.
  • So what if he has a child, you’re not ready to have a family now.
  • You chose to leave because the life you were leading was not making you happy.
  • The life you left behind was not your true identity.
  • The type of person you were while in that relationship was detrimental to your success and personal development.
  • You didn’t like who you were and acted like while being married to your ex.
  • You are so much happier and satisfied with who you are now.
  • You are clairvoyant and focused on creating your life’s purpose for this world.
  • You have a deeper connection with God and your soul and do not need material things to keep you happy.
  • You have realized what is most important to you in this world.
  • You are finally free, free of any guilt or doubt that may have transpired from your past decisions.

After giving myself a little tough love, I reaffirmed all my current beliefs.  I needed to dedicate some much needed time to all the positives in my life.  I prayed and meditated.  I prayed to give thanks, ask for strength and to repent for my sins.  I expressed my gratefulness for all that I have and that I am.  Finally, I meditated to validate with my inner being that the path I am on now, is exactly where I need to be.  I now know that I was meant to see that picture.  The universe wanted me to see it, to help me realize that I did in fact, make the right decision.

Time to reflect:

Do you regress?  Is is caused by something that is out of your control?  Do you find yourself immediately regressing into old habits even after you’ve made such good progress?  Catching yourself regress is the first step toward fixing the problem.  Then try doing something different to help you cope with the regression.  Give yourself some tough love or be extra nice if you’re usually hard on yourself.  Do something different to help you react differently.  By consciously being aware that you are dealing with the SAME OLD FEELINGS but handling it DIFFERENTLY is going to really do wonders for your emotional development.  You will see that you can choose how you want to react.  Soon, you will be aware of the many other options for handling your problems other than simply resorting to old behavioural patterns.