Why me? Why not me?

I had a very bad habit of victimizing and feeling sorry for myself during my tribulations.  Then to add to my grief, I would self sabotage when things in my life were going great.  I got into a horrible habit of craving this unnecessary drama that served absolutely no purpose.  I always asked myself and God, “why me?” during the tough times.  I know it sounds crazy, but, it’s almost as if I felt relief at the idea of “poor me, I am going through such a rough time, no wonder I make poor decisions” or “no wonder my life is complicated”.  Suddenly I had an epiphany while being on one of my many self destructive paths.  I realized, I was asking the wrong question.  Instead, all the while I should’ve actually been asking, “Why not me?”

My poor choices were a direct reflection of my self-destructive characteristic.  It was almost like I would purposely sabotage all the good things in my life to satisfy the craving I had for drama or a need for self pity.  By asking myself, “Why me” I automatically put myself down and didn’t appreciate or value the great things that already existed.  This shift in attitude is the real difference in the ability to make choices.  If your frame of mind is in the wrong place, then you will end up making the wrong choice.  If your frame of mind is in the right place, ie. you’re happy or content, then often you end up making better choices.  So, by knowing what frame of mind you’re in, you can make decisions appropriately or more effectively without it causing harm in the near or far future.

Now that I understand the idea behind framing the mind correctly, I can change my attitude in life by asking myself the question, “Why not me” instead.  Every time I look at someone that I admire and wish to be like, I ask myself “why can’t that be me?”  This question forces me to look my own life and evaluate all the great things that already exist that help me see how similar I already am to the person I am “wishing” to be like.  Also, by gauging how similar I am, I can see the areas I am lacking so I can focus on achieving those things while putting the attention in the necessary areas.  For instance, I saw this woman who evidently had money because of the clothes she wore and the car she drove.  I admired this independent woman and asked myself, “why not me?”.  This forced me to evaluate my own life and I realized, wait a minute, this is me, minus the luxury car.  Now that I am content with my positioning so far, I can now focus on achieving the next goal, getting a luxury car, by using my creativity and skills.

This simple shift in attitude and asking almost the same question but in a more positive way while putting the onus on myself, drastically improved my life.  Now I don’t focus on the things I don’t have, rather I focus on the things I already have and focus my energy on acquiring the things I lack.  This has helped me make more effective and positive choices in my life.  Instead of living a self-sabbotaging and self-victimizing life, I now take the responsibility to make the appropriate changes. I don’t sit around wondering why all the things I am doing doesn’t work.  Instead, I take active steps to fix the things that don’t work and continue to appreciate and improve on the things that do work.  By changing my attitude by asking myself a different question, I no longer crave drama or self pity.  I feel ecstatic knowing that I am always going to keep achieving greatness within myself while realizing how amazing I already have it.

Time to reflect:

Do you always ask yourself, “Why me?”  If you do, change that statement to, “Why not me?”  This simple change in attitude and words will make a world of a difference in the way you approach life and all of your choices.  You will no longer feel the need to blame or look for validation or answers from others.  Instead, you will appreciate all that you already have and will look forward to all the things that you can still achieve.  You can change the self-victimizing and self-sabbotaging ways if you want to, all you have to do is change your attitude and the question that you ask.  



“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”  ~ Eleanor Roosevelt 


Western medicine

I am blessed to live in a country that offers free health care.  The relief I have of not worrying about getting sick because I can’t afford it, is such a wonder.  It’s a luxury compared to what our American neighbours deal with, where they have to pay for health care.  In America people can’t afford to get sick because if they do, it will cost them an arm and a leg.  In fact, Western medicine isn’t all that it’s cut out to be.  Don’t get me wrong, we are very lucky and blessed with the skill sets and talent of some of the worlds greatest minds and professionals.  However, at the same time, the principles of Western medicine is what doesn’t resonate well with me.

Western medicine will invest more effort, time and money in researching and “legally” producing pharmaceutical drugs and medicine than educating patients on alternative and natural remedies that heal and eventually prolong life.  Western medicine does not provide any outlet or avenue for a person to even look into those options when dealing with terminal illness or diseases.  Instead, Western medicine would rather drug you up and keep you spending your hard earned money purchasing these drugs that have severe short and long term effects.  It’s sad that we live in a part of the world where almost 90% of us are educated, yet we are so misinformed about the realities of corporate choke holds and profiteering, especially at the cost of our very well being and health.

I share my opinion with you all because I believe we need to make a change in the way we deal with illness and health issues.  There are many alternative remedies that are overlooked because a drug company would rather make a profit off the suffering of a persons health issues.  It’s despicable and downright unethical to live amongst people who care so little about human life.  I mean it’s crazy because the tools and the innovation that Western medicine currently possess is undeniably amazing.  We have the means and facilities to cure almost anything yet we have one of the highest rates of illness around the world.  Why is that?  Because our concentration is on the wrong thing, making money instead of educating and curing ailments.

If Western medicine combined its raw talent, amazing intellect and innovative capabilities with alternative and holistic medicine the way Eastern medicine has done it, we all would live much healthier, cleaner and longer lives.  Scientific research has proven time again that Eastern medicine is in fact way more reliable, less evasive and harmful than Western medicine.  Eastern medicine combines scientific innovative tools with ancient holistic and natural remedies to produce the best results.  That is why most people who are diagnosed with terminal illnesses or diseases in the West end up travelling to the East to get second, third and fourth opinions.

In conclusion, I believe it is time for all of us to rise up and take a stand against these pharmaceutical corporate hyenas and push for a more holistic and natural avenue to help deal with illness and health issues.  Instead of living in a “legally” drug induced state all of our lives we should take active steps to finding natural and alternative cures.  We should invest more effort, time and money into researching how to combine holistic medicine with the current innovations and tools we are used too to eventually produce the best results.


“The greatest medicine of all is to teach people how not to need it.” ~ anonymous


Death is inevitable and the sad reality is that we all have to deal with it eventually.  Most people fear death because of the unknown and the realization that they will never be with their loved ones again.  The saddest part of death is dying alone and having no one by your side as you move from this life onto the next.  Society and human nature, for the most part, deals with death through sadness and sorrow.  However, death should actually be a celebration of ones life and all the great and unique accomplishments. Why do we live with the idea of this inevitable sadness when we can choose to end our lives in a celebratory fashion instead?

A few days back my friends father passed away from stage 4 lung cancer.  The cancer spread throughout his body and he was deemed terminal and incurable.  As soon as the doctor diagnosed him as terminal their family’s collective attitude about his life changed.  I personally didn’t agree with how they handled the situation, but, as an outsider I am only entitled to my opinion and that is all.  Collectively they all gave up and decided whatever the doctor said was the only and final diagnosis.  Had this been my family, I would travel to the ends of the earth to find a second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and etc. professional medical and holistic opinion.  The overwhelming sorrow that my friends family faced in these past few weeks and months proved to me that when I pass, I want my family and friends to deal with my death completely differently.

I want my family and friends to celebrate my life and all the unique things that I was able to accomplish.  I want them to laugh instead of cry at the idea of never seeing me again.  I want to teach them to look at my passing as my new beginning to another journey.  I want to celebrate a life that was worth living and show everyone that death is not the end nor should it be sad.  Death marks the end of one life but it also marks the beginning of something that none of us are capable of comprehending.

When I refer to death I am not speaking of tragic or accidental deaths.  There are many deaths that occur that are unimaginable and unforeseen, such as children dying too young or good and undeserving people having their lives taken because of murder or illness and sometimes even the bad don’t deserve certain death sentences.  I am not speaking of deaths that occur through those means, because in those situations sorrow is completely understandable.  There is a mourning process and obligatory time is required to act as a tribute to the lost lives.  I just want to clarify this, because when I am referring to ending our lives on a happy note, I’m referring to situations where people are blessed to live long and fulfilling lives and can foresee their passing in the near future.

So, do you fear death?  Why?  Is it because of how you were raised and the misconceptions behind death that you were taught as a child?  Do you deal with death through sorrow?  I want you to understand that we can choose not to deal with death like this anymore.  We all know that it will happen eventually, so rather than anticipate a sorrow ending why not end our lives on a celebratory note?  Why not leave this world with a bang and smiling?  We entered this world crying, but, I believe we should leave this world smiling and laughing because we were able to experience life.  We should leave our families with the memories of us being happy because life happened not because it’s over.

Time to reflect:

How will you handle death when the time comes?  Will you want to leave this world smiling or crying?  Will you want to leave your family with great memories or sorrow?  Think about it, because it’s actually a choice we have.  Sure we cannot choose life over death, but, we can definitely choose how we want to deal with death when our time comes.  So, I urge you, choose to deal with death with happiness.  I wish you a long and fulfilling life.  


“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” ~ Mark Twain


Stop comparing

Do you compare yourself to others?  I don’t mean compare on a physical level, whereby, you’re comparing your physical appearance.  I mean, do you compare your current and past situations in life and the direction you’re going based on what other people are doing?  Are you the type of person who gets affected by other peoples progress or direction?  I don’t mean in a bad way where you get jealous or you hate on other people.  I mean, does other peoples progress, focus and direction distract you and derail you from your path toward achieving your goals?

See here is the thing with me.  I used to have this horrible habit of comparing my progress to others who were on similar paths as me.  It wasn’t something I did intentionally, it would just happen subconsciously.  For example, let’s say I had my startup business and I had a few friends who also had their start up companies, but, in entirely different industries.  As I worked according to my budget and the business plan set up for my company I noticed my fellow friends creating amazing websites, vlogging, being interviewed by TV personnel, having photo shoots and writing books.

As I watched them make strides with their businesses I looked at my own progress and started questioning my plan.  Everything I worked toward, all the hard work I did and all my effort would seem useless because it didn’t amount to what my friends did.  I looked at my own progress and noticed that my company didn’t have a website, I didn’t have an office space, I wasn’t being interviewed by anyone, nor were my vlogs and blogs being marketed properly and getting the proper attention.  Because I compared my situation with others I lost confidence in myself and lost focus and got misdirected.

I then tried to incorporate what other people were doing into my already busy routine.  I dropped everything I was doing and making progress with, to attempt to start new projects.  I would try to incorporate something that one of my friends company’s had that my own company was lacking.  This would derail me from my goals because I wouldn’t have the resources or the means to accomplish the task at that moment and I would feel discouraged.  What I needed to do was focus on my own routine and realize that I was at a different place than my friends.  What they accomplished could’ve been due to many factors such as extra funding, access to free or reasonably priced resources, excellent network connections, and etc.. The fact that someone else accomplished something and I couldn’t didn’t mean I failed, it just meant that I was at a different phase than them.

Basically, what I learned is not to compare my direction and accomplishments to anyone else but my own.  I have to see my own progress and see if I am in a better position than I was from the day before.  Every time I compare myself to others it distracts me from my own routine and in fact confuses and hinders my progress.  I would play catch up, start new projects and get off track of my own routine because I thought I hadn’t accomplished what others from my age or social group had.  I would think I didn’t compare enough because I wasn’t up to their calibre.  I failed to realize just because someone else’s business had something that my business lacked it didn’t mean I wasn’t succeeding, it just meant that I had to stick to my plan and eventually I would achieve the results I want.

Time to reflect:

Do you compare yourself to others to the point where it distracts your path and direction?  If so you may want to try to stop and focus on what it is you have accomplished so far and then stop worrying so much about what you haven’t.  Just because someone similar to you has accomplished something that you may not have doesn’t mean you stop your plan and try to compete in anyway.  In fact, it just means you should stay on your path and eventually all the goals you have will come to fruition.  Good luck! 



“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~ unknown