Cheating yourself

There have been countless times where I cheated myself. I set goals then lied to myself about the work I put in, the actual results I achieved, went back on my word, and even the reason why I was doing it to begin with. Who does this hurt at the end of the day? Only me! I write this because I need to put myself on blast for all the wrongs I am committing against myself.  I am acknowledging the truth of my matter.

By cheating yourself you spiral into destructive habits.  You fall into depression because you come across as a liar and a cheat to yourself.  You create a persona of yourself that lacks discipline, self control, self worth, self respect, is weak and lacks integrity.  By cheating yourself you trap yourself in this false identity of who you really are.  You feel embarrased because your supporters believe in you so much while you lack any belief in yourself.

The reality is that I am not doing as much as I should be.  I have many amazing ideas and I am excellent at starting things, however, I lack consistency and congruency.  The fact is I need to be real with myself for my sanity.  It’s great to have knowledge and speak of certain truths, but, what good is that if you cannot apply those truths to your own life and lead by example?  I have a long way to go in terms of accepting my strengths and weaknesses.  I am aware of my downfalls and by putting myself on blast I am not placing judgement or putting myself down, in fact, I am doing the exact opposite.  I am allowing myself to grow and change because I cannot accept the current frame of mind I am in.  I cannot live a life where my dreams and visions do not match my reality.  If I know that I am cheating myself how can I ever be an example to those who look to me for help or advice?  My advice would be biased or unjust because I would not be in the right frame of mind to help someone else.

Going forward, the only way I can avoid cheating myself is by being completely transparent with myself.  If there are things I wish to do, I have be honest about my intentions.  Why am I doing this, for who and what and etc.?  I have to ask myself real questions and if I cannot answer those questions then I need to realize that what I am doing in that moment will only lead to me lying to myself.  I have to consciously catch myself before I get into the habit of cheating myself by noticing my energy or lack there of.  If my energy toward a particular goal or vision is not on high vibration mode, then it means I will not put all my effort into said activity.  The reason why I will do this is to avoid getting involved in activities that will take time away from what is actually good for my development.  By noticing my energy level I can make an honest judgement on what I am investing into.  If I am lacking energy even before committing to something, than I know that the results I will attain will not meet my expectations or will not fulfill me the way I want it too.

I am no longer going to cheat myself.  I plan to do this by being honest and true to myself and admitting when I haven’t done what I need to do.  This will force me to take appropriate actions to align myself with my goals.  I need to take better and more conscious action toward achieving my goals and I can only do that if my mind isn’t distracted by my own lies.  There is nothing wrong with not accomplishing things, but there is something wrong with setting out goals, doing it half-assed, lying about the results because you never attained them the way you anticipated, and ultimately cheating yourself of personal development.

Time to reflect:

Do you cheat yourself?  Do you tell yourself you will do something and then recant or go back on your word?  This might be something so small that you don’t pay attention too such as making your bed in the morning, or exercising 3 times a week and etc.. But, it’s those small habits that lead to your character.  Do you want to be known as a cheat and liar to yourself?  Because I know I don’t!  I want to be able to look myself in the eyes and with conviction say that everything I do and say is 100% the truth of my reality.  Once I become that woman, I can achieve anything, and so can you!


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