November | 2014 | Was Lost then Found

My attitude stinks! My attitude toward myself, most importantly, sucks and needs a major overhaul. I am realizing that in order for my attitude to change I have to make that change directly from inside of myself, no where else. I can’t go buy a bottle of gratitude, I can only achieve gratitude by focusing my attitude on feeling gratification instead of focusing on all the other feelings that are associated with “attitude”. Does this make sense?

Ok let me try to explain it a little more clearly. I grew up in a very negative enviroment. I constantly heard negativity and it was rare to ever hear words of encouragement. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t grow up being physically abused to the point where I claim I’m some victim. No no, not at all…I grew up with parents who lacked the ability to communicate positivity in a way that hindered my ability to develop gratitude. My dad is a very positive person, however, being married to someone who is beyond the scope of negativity, has taken a toll on his ability to communicate effectively. He still has the ability to make us feel encouraged and unstoppable but not through words or gestures, but, rather with an unspoken understanding. My mother, on the other hand, is so negative that I can safely say her negative attitude has definitely penetrated my character and I do catch myself being just like her at times. The saddest part is, the negativity I have learned from her doesn’t affect anyone else, it affects me directly.

What I have learned and how to cope with certain things is greatly attributed to the 30 plus years of influence by my family. Growing up I always heard that my life or my situation was never good enough. There was always something wrong, or missing, or not enough money, or not enough time or blah blah blah. These lessons were never taught by my dad, only my mom. She is the only person in my life that I could never understand because here is someone who has EVERYTHING going for her, yet, has the hardest time being GRATEFUL for all that she has. This ungrateful attitude spilled over in us, the kids and we started becoming ungrateful about everything, including our own selves.

Having never heard a thank you, or you did a great job, I’m so proud of you, and etc. I was never grateful to myself for all that I do for myself and those around me. I developed a poor attitude about who I am, where I’m going, what I want to be and etc.. I didn’t appreciate anything given to me, because I never realized how grateful I should be for receiving said blessings. I didn’t appreciate myself and all the wonderful things I do as a human being to contribute to this society. I didn’t appreciate my many gifts and talents that made me uniquely me. I didn’t appreciate the many great things I did for others. I didn’t learn to love myself and be honest about all that I have achieved and will achieve. My attitude about loving myself correctly really needed a wake up call. I needed to realize that how I talk to myself and how I feel about myself directly affects me and my overall well-being.

In order for me to change and become more grateful, I have to speak to myself in an encouraging and positive way. I have to go out of my comfort zone and make an extra effort to stop degrading myself, being self-critical and downright mean to myself. By speaking more lovingly and more honestly about how amazing I actually am, I can develop a much better attitude of gratitude. I can start to appreciate all the things around me and most importantly all the things within me. By allowing myself to love and speak to myself in a loving manner, where I tell myself that I am beautiful, smart, awesome or talented, I can finally be grateful for all that makes me, me! This will then spill over into my outer world and that same level of love that I have for myself will transcend and be reflected in my interactions with others. I will be able to encourage others and help them develop gratification as I exude the same level of gratification. By fixing my own attitude of gratitude I can help slowly make the changes both within my inner and outer worlds.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” ~ Melody Beattie

Earlier I wrote about numbers and provided a guide of their meanings. I want to elaborate a little more on numbers and how they act as Spirit Guides. Numbers act as guides to help us make certain decisions or be concscious or aware of the decisions we need to make. Sometimes in life we come across certain difficult choices and during these times we come across signs. These signs may come in the form of numbers. You may notice sometimes that you look up at the clock at exactly 11:11 or 12:12 or 12:21 and etc.. Why is it that we notice these numbers precisely at the moment when we think of something critical to our well-being? Did you ever stop to ask why we notice them and what they mean when we notice them?

Below, I provided a list of the numbers and their spiritual meaning from the same site http://www.spiritual-path.com/numerology.htm from my earlier blog post. Please take a moment to read through the numbers and see what they mean.

“Below are the basic signs that Spirit Guides use to guide us in everyday life. They are not related to anything in particular, like your life path or life lesson in conjunction with astrological influences, as listed below. These signs guide us to the correct decisions on anything; from whether to carry an umbrella to work, to whether you should have a sandwich for lunch or a full meal. The reason for this guidance is for you to avoid an unpleasant experience, to provide you with something you will soon need, but don’t know yet, or even help you with decisions at work. These signs are listed with the specific interpretation, and it is up to you to apply it to your thoughts and feelings”. http://www.spiritual-path.com/numerology.htm

111, 1111 – This is the New Cycle sign. It refers to what is new, fresh, prosperous and progressive in your life. Seeing this sign after thinking or feeling something about a topic in your life indicates that these thoughts will lead to new and exciting things in your daily life. Your Spirit Guides are indicating that these thoughts are healthy, because change is the essence of growth.

222, 2222 – This is the ‘Train of Thought’ sign. Your Spirit Guides will show you this sign to support what you are thinking. For example, you could be working on something at work, and see this sign. It indicates that you should continue with the current focus or thoughts for a solution, as it will lead you to the right conclusion.

333, 3333 – This sign is the Cosmic ‘Yes!’ It indicates a ‘Yes’ to absolutely anything, and that it is the right decision for you. It indicates that something will happen, even if sometimes it isn’t what you expect, or when you expect it, because it is an explicit sign. For example, you may ask your Spirit Guides, “Will I ever get married?” And they reply “333!” So you think, “Great! I’ll be married soon!” But the ‘soon’ part is of our making; ‘Yes’ you will get married, but they don’t say when! Still, it’s something to look forward to!

444, 4444 – This sign is the Cosmic ‘No!’ It indicates a ‘No’ to absolutely anything. For example, you could think, “I’m really getting sick of this job.”, but then see the ‘444’ sign to advise you, “No, don’t think like that. You’re just a bit tired, so don’t let such temporary things sway your mind.” It could also be as basic as, “I could do with some Pizza for dinner.”, whereby the ‘No’ would advise you that it wouldn’t be a good idea.

555, 5555 – This is the ‘Change’ sign. It is seen whenever you have had a change of mind about anything, and is a reflection of your state of mind. It prompts you to ask, “Hmm, a change of mind. Where will this change lead me?” It relates to any subject where you have changed your mind, and advises you think a little about it first, and to be sure this new direction is really the one you wish to take.

666, 6666 – This is the ‘Imbalance’ sign. It indicates that your thoughts have gone off on an unhealthy tangent, that isn’t focused on anything but nonsense. You could be thinking normally about something, and then your mind takes a tangent into fantastical or unrealistic territory. Through this sign, your Spirit Guides are letting you know that you have slipped off the right track, and for you to step back to the last correct train of thought.

777, 7777 – This is the ‘Lesson Learnt’ sign. It indicates that you have made a realisation or learnt a lesson. Your Spirit Guides are showing you this sign to reflect that you have learnt something, for you to think about it, and ask yourself questions, such as, “What have I learnt? What does this mean to me?” For example, the lesson may be that you have discovered that your work no longer inspires you as it once did. You have made this discovery, and now it is up to you as to how you proceed.

888, 8888 – This is the ‘Phase About to End’ sign. Everything we do in our life can be categorised as a phase. From going to work to going shopping, all things are a series of short term phases. Your Spirit Guides will show you this sign when your thoughts will bring about the end of a phase, whether this end be natural or abrupt. For example, you could be making a Christmas present list, and once completed, you review it and think, “Oh, these five people don’t know each other, I can get them the same thing!” Your Spirit Guides could then show you the ‘888’ sign to advise that by following this plan, the phase of completing your Christmas shopping will very soon come to an end. You are being advised, but also asked to reflect upon your plan; sure, you’ll finish all of your shopping quicker, but will you be happy with the results?

999, 9999 – This is the ‘Completion of a Phase’ sign. It indicates the completion of a phase of thought or activity in your life. For example, you may think, “I’m not eating at that restaurant again!” Or, having reached your mental and emotional limit with a situation, think, “Okay, that’s enough now!” After which you’ll see the ‘999’ sign, reflecting the finality of your thoughts and feelings on a particular matter. Your Spirit Guides are showing you this sign as a reflection of your current mental and emotional state and that there is no going back from this point – it’s over.

000, 0000 – This is the ‘Unity with the Universe’. Your Spirit Guides will show you this sign to indicate to you that you’re doing fine; you’re thinking the right things, doing the right things, and in the right place, mentally and emotionally. Your Spirit Guides are saying, “Just carry on as you are!”