Last night I experienced sleep paralysis again. This time, however, it was not like my first experience. I still felt the same crippling fear and shortness of breath as I felt during my first experience, but, the difference this time was in my overall reaction to it. This time I knew I was experiencing sleep paralysis and the images I saw were of a grim reaper slashing away at me while hovering over me. Knowing that I was going through this, I still felt a bit of panic at first, but, not as much as the first time. In fact, once I regained my composure, I started telling myself to try and get up and out of my body. I kept trying to move my body but I couldn’t. I finally pushed myself up and noticed a white noise getting louder and the air around me was vibrating intensely.
All of the sudden, with one mighty push I was thrown up into a standing position and I was in my room standing right in front of my dresser drawer. At this point the vibrations were so intense that it knocked me off my feet and back into my sleeping body. I woke up and felt my heart beating super fast. I finally had my first real “conscious” out of body experience and was fully aware and in control of it.
This time around I didn’t have anything negative or traumatic happen to me. Instead, I think I was opening myself up psychically to the experience and maybe subconsciously was hoping to finally get another crack at sleep paralysis. However, I do have to admit I did have a nightmare after that. I dreamt that my mother started crying and screaming for me to come help her. When I got to her I saw a huge growth on her lower back, around the kidney area. There was a huge lump protruding out of her body and she was in pain. She was afraid of dying and I held her in my arms and cried and begged her to be ok. I cried in my sleep a lot and when I awoke I could feel in my face the pain from crying while sleeping. After waking up I ran to my mothers room and grabbed her and hugged her. It was such an intense and gut wrenching dream. I felt helpless and hopeless.
I am logging this in my blog because I want to keep track of all my sleep paralysis and out of body exerpeinces. I want to go back and try to understand the relevence it has in my life. Why am I experiecing this? Is this me tapping into my infinite potential? What will I discover during these out of body experiences? How far can I go out of body? The point is, for the first time I was able to control something that seemed so uncontrollable. I am excited to have another out of body experience and looking forward to my next journey. I hope this time though, that I get passed my bedroom walls and possibly out into another dimension!
So the new year is fast approaching and boy do I mean fast, because it’s actually the day after tomorrow! Have you set resolutions for 2015 yet? If you haven’t, let me suggest you try something different. Instead of setting resolutions, why not set intentions? Intention setting is far more powerful than setting resolutions. When we set a resolution we limit ourselves to a set of items that need to be crossed off or “resolved” by a certain time frame. Instead of looking at our goals for the new year as a list of to-dos, we should be setting intentions of what we aim to achieve in the upcoming year.
By declaring your intentions to the universe and yourself, you are allowing magic to occur behind the scenes. Your soul emits an energy or frequency of waves that attract your said intentions. There is a big difference between setting intentions versus just stating or writing out your goals. When you have the intention to do something, you are not only thinking of the goal in mind, but you are also thinking of accompanying thoughts and actions that will coincide with your intentions. It’s like your brain is on hyperdrive and it is aligning your intention with all the little steps you should and could be implementing to help you achieve your desired intentions. By setting intentions, you allow yourself to be in the present moment while thinking and planning for the future.
Resolution setting is different. It forces you to think of only the future and when you will finally achieve the resolution. It takes away from your goal because it is seen as achievable or unachieveable. Your mind is being occupied by the wrong thoughts or being channelled in the wrong way. Your mind cannot think of accompanying actions that will help develop your goals or come up with other crazy alternate plans. It’s either a yes I achieved my resolution or no I didn’t achieve it. Whereas, if you set intentions, your focus is being simultaneously channelled in the present moment and the future so that you can actually manifest actions to help you achieve your goals, while also keeping your eye on the prize.
So, before you go into the new year, ask yourself of what your intentions are for the upcoming year. Ask yourself of what you wish for most from deep down inside your soul. Then with that intention set in place, focus on how you can manifest those intentions through certain actions. Doing this, you will achieve most if not all of your intentions for the new year.
“Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed.” ~ Cavett Robert
For the past few years I’ve been dealing with an on again off again relationship. This relationship has been by far the hardest one to get over. For some reason I keep getting sucked right back into the viscious cycle. This relationship is extremely unique, whereby, most people in normal relationships would probably consider it quite unhealthy. I do not deny that many components of this relationship is in fact unhealthy. However, something inside of me is not willing to give up on the potential of the other person involved. For some weird reason I have this massive obligation, or feel the need too, nurture my partner and help him grow as an individual.
After years of agonizing over whether to leave or stay, I have finally come to the conclusion of accepting the reality that is. I have come to finally accept that this person came into my life as a lesson but not a lifetime. I am well aware that this person was introduced to me by the universe to help shake things up and make me break free from my old ways. I understand today that this relationship was designed to strengthen me and help me put things into perspective of what I truly deserve versus what I want. I have allowed my heart to follow its course and I can safely say I have zero regrets. My heart has not been broken nor has it given up. Instead, my heart has finally learned and applied unconditional love.
I know that unconditional love is very rare to find. Unless you have children most people will never understand the notion of unconditional love. However, from time to time, we get the rare individuals that come into our lives who help us finally grasp this concept. To feel so strongly for someone that you have zero obligation too is a beautiful thing. I have become a better person because of my partner. I have learned what my limits and my extremes are. I can finally truly look at myself in the mirror and know exactly what I deserve.
I have accepted the reality of my partner and his purpose in my life. I am very grateful that I stuck it out and allowed my heart to pursue what it wanted. I have learned to trust my soul and heart because of this man. I have finally learned to let go and trust in the universe to teach me the lessons that I am supposed to learn. I am not giving up on our relationship, rather, I am accepting his limited scope within my world. By finally accepting the reality, I no longer fear the end of our relationship, rather, I am embracing the change that is to come. I no longer fear not having him in my life, rather, I am excited to start a new beginning of self-love. By accepting the reality of our situation, both of us can finally grow and apply the many lessons we have taught one another. By accepting the reality, both of us can transform into the persons we are meant to be.
“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” ~ John Joseph Powell