What you think vs. What is

It’s human nature to think the worst in most situations.  We have been conditioned to think and worry about the worst case scenarios out of fear.  We tend to become immobile with our decisions or actions because fear controls our thoughts.  Our perception of what could be end up outweighing what actually is.

It’s time we change and create a shift in our thinking.  Instead of consuming our minds with the possibilities of what could be (which often never end up happening anyway), we need to accept information and facts for what they are.  We need to recondition our minds to not allow our imagination to get carried away.  We have to consciously put a stop to the random thoughts that get conjured up because of fear, fear of failure, rejection, not attaining results and etc..  Rather than acknowledging hypothetical what ifs, we need to be content with the information we have and not over analyze.

For instance, imagine you noticed a few unnatural health symptoms.  So you go on Google, start typing the symptoms, read all the possibilities and then go nuts because you conclude that you have brain cancer.  You start stressing and your body shuts down and it begins to mimic certain traits that coincide with your self-diagnosis.  You go into depression, start worrying about your family and how they’ll cope with it, and your funeral costs and etc. you just go off on this whole crazy tangent.  After putting yourself through emotional turmoil for however long, you finally decide to go to the doctors all to find out that you had a minor infection and all you needed was some antibiotics.

I have probably done this exact thing to myself a million times and dealt with various levels of emotional turmoil.  I suffered unnecessarily because of my own delusions instead of just accepting the information for what it was, in the above case, a few flu like symptoms and that I should go to an expert (the doctor) to get the proper diagnosis, before freaking out.  This consistent way of thinking based out of fear is unhealthy and can lead to many poor choices.  Fear based decisions hinder your growth and actually push you backward.  This habit then spills over into all other areas of your life and can negatively affect your relationships as well.  Whereby, your paranoid what ifs could end up pushing your partner, friends, colleagues or even family members away.

By changing your way of thinking and stopping the hypothetical what ifs before they begin, you prevent yourself from dealing with unnecessary stress and emotional turmoil.  You also take more decisive actions that coincide with your goals and help you achieve overall betterment in your life.  You will find you are more confident in your decisions and the results you attain meet, if not surpass, your expectations.

Time to reflect:

Do you wander off and start worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet?  You made a decision, but the outcome hasn’t even played out yet and already you’re going off thinking about the worst case scenarios.  If this is you, you need to consciously take steps to help stop those thoughts from consuming your mind.  By acknowledging that you behave in this way, you are able to put notice to the problem.  In order to fix it, you must take action every time you catch yourself thinking about what ifs.  Stop the thoughts and allow yourself to go into a happy place or move on to another subject entirely.  Do what you need to do to stop that train of thought and soon you will build a habit of accepting what is.


“People spend time worrying about things they think they have to have and lose perception of what they do have. You can have all the money and material things you want. If you aren’t here to enjoy them, what good do they do?” ~ Eric Davis 

Start now

I want you to be brutally honest with yourself.  Ask yourself how many times you’ve stalled or waited around before doing something.  I mean…how many times have you, instead of starting, sat around and waited for the perfect time or opportunity to come by?  By the time you waited and waited, all your colleagues, peers and friends passed you by as they achieved their goals and seized opportunities.

I get it, it’s so easy to fall into this pattern of not starting.  Trust me, I used to be a habitual staller.  I justified me NOT starting as “oh, I have the time tomorrow,” “I don’t have the money to start just yet” or “I don’t want to push too hard or I might seem desperate”.  I missed out on many great opportunities because I failed to start sooner.

Then after starting have you ever told yourself or felt like, “damn, I wish I started earlier”?  Well that is how I was feeling about almost everything at one point.  I got into this bad habit of putting things off and cutting myself slack.  You see, I know that I can do most anything I put my mind too.  That being said, because I know this about myself, I wouldn’t put the pressure on myself that I needed.  Especially being self-employed and having no one to guide or push me, I was having a hard time figuring out a balance between discipline and spontaneity.  I got into a habit of not setting specific deadlines and that in turn kept deterring my progress because I would stall so frequently.  This eventually led me to having many “I wish I started earlier” moments.

It wasn’t intentional, I wasn’t trying to not start.  Things would just pop up that I would rather do or not do.   I couldn’t figure out what exactly was causing me to stall.  Then one day, I realized that not having set deadlines was the reason for me not starting.  So, in order to change this habit, I decided to consciously set short term goals for the day or the week.  By doing this, I could teach myself to develop positive habits of not procrastinating or stalling.  By writing out the things (even if they were little things) I had to do for the day or week, I consciously had a timeline that I had to follow.  And sure, I could still indulge in my usual habit of stalling by not immediately starting my tasks so long as I accomplished them by the end of the day.  As long as I could finish everything on the list or at least start it, I was happy knowing that I was able to make changes in my usual stalling habit without it completely throwing me off.

Going forward, to help me avoid NOT STARTING, and to help me START NOW, I consciously write out my task list of what I need or want to accomplish.  If it’s something that I know will take a long time and cannot be completed in one short day, I still write it down and transfer it over to the next days list.  This reinforces my goal and keeps me aware that I have to take appropriate steps to achieve my said task.  By getting into this habit of being aware of the tasks I need to accomplish and then having a deadline (even if no one else is monitoring it), it pushes me to start on the task.  Now, I find that I am well prepared for many opportunities that come my way.  I am prepared financially whereby, I can attend a seminar or course because I took the time to plan appropriately.  I am prepared emotionally because I am not stressed out about all the other things that still have to be completed.  Finally, I am prepared with extra time because I am managing my time a lot better.

Time to reflect:

Do you stall?  Do you wait for the perfect time or place or etc. to get you started?  Well, more often than not, if you get into a habit of stalling you will miss out on many opportunities.  It’s important to do what you can to change this habit, especially if it’s detrimental to your personal development.  Do something small, like writing down the task you need to do that day.  Doing this puts subconscious guilt or obligation on yourself to finish the task.  Even if you don’t finish, at least you started and got the ball rolling.  The key is to, start now!  Good luck!


“Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.”  ~ Lord Chesterfield 

Deactivating Facebook saved my life

When Facebook first came out, I was in total denial and did everything in my power not to follow the trend of my friends and peers by joining.  Facebook was invented exactly at the same time I was in university.  Now this was back in the day when you couldn’t just become a member, you had to get invited…or am I thinking of Gmail?  Anyway, back then the rules were different.  There weren’t “like buttons” or ample storage space for walls and albums galore.  I was one of the many pioneers and first generation users for this social network.  It was solely used as a tool for popularity and the more people you knew, the cooler you were.  Hence why I was so anti-Facebook back then.  I just didn’t care to be popular.  Regardless, I literally spent my entire adult awakening (my twenties) years developing an unhealthy obsession with Facebook.

As I grew up with Facebook, it was fast becoming a necessity in life.  The idea behind Facebook changed.  At first, it was a way to stay in touch with people around the world and make communication easier for long distance relationships.  It was great for staying in touch with life long friends.  I validated joining Facebook by connecting with friends from elementary, junior high, high school and university that I lost touch with.  It was a great tool to use to reach out and be accessible.  Also, it was an online photo album, which was a great idea.  Hence, why it did phenomenal, everyone, their parents and grandparents got involved.  Businesses even got involved and soon it was used to market products and services and glamorize fan pages and etc.

I got into this unhealthy habit of logging on to Facebook immediately once I got home from work, outings with family and friends, or just because I wanted too.  It was robotic, it became instinct or second nature to log on.  I felt disconnected from the world if I wasn’t logged on.  I couldn’t see what my friends were doing, I couldn’t see how people felt or what they were posting and it would give me anxiety because I felt like I wasn’t in the loop of things.  It was bordering obsessive compulsive.  There would be times where I’d log on and do absolutely nothing, just stare at the same pictures over again or flip through the same albums of other people I envied.  Facebook was becoming my psychological enemy.  It was turning my mind against me.

Facebook created this unwanted competitive nature within me.  I would sit back and look at snap shots of everyones lives and see all their accomplishments and think about how much I lacked.  I would focus my attention on this envy I felt while others travelled the world or met celebrities because of their jobs and etc.  I was addicted to this love hate feeling for Facebook. I would hate how I felt after logging on and wasting hours doing nothing, but love it for allowing me to see how others close to me were living their dreams.  I was inspired really by others and wanted to be like them, free to do what I want and be happy while doing it.  But, all the while I was wasting my precious life on Facebook watching others live their lives while I sat behind a computer crying about mine.  So, I made the choice to deactivate my account.

After deactivating my account, I felt a renewed energy in me.  I didn’t have this anxiety anymore, like I didn’t have to follow this routine of logging in at an exact time and witnessing other peoples glorious moments while I tried to find myself.  I didn’t have this pressure anymore to be something.  All of the sudden, it was like I was free.  I had so many hours at hand now to do anything and everything I wanted.  I was still connected to everyone I knew that meant something to me, without having to see the lives of other people that I am not that connected with.  It was like the race was over.  The race to see who can out do who with the most number of friends, albums of exotic places or adventures.  I had so much time that I was able to put the time and attention that was much needed toward my businesses.  I was able to meditate and practice yoga more consistently.  It was like out of sight, out of mind.  So, because I deactivated my Facebook account, I saved myself from my destructive self and that in turn saved my life.

Time to reflect:

Are you addicted to Facebook or some other social network?  Do you feel pressure or anxiety because of this tool, which is supposed to help you?  If you don’t then that’s great, and I applaud you for not allowing this tool to manipulate your mind and life.  If you’re like me and are addicted to using Facebook but it’s affecting you negatively in the process, maybe you should consider deactivating your account.  You don’t have to do this permanently, you can always go back and activate it, but maybe try for a few days or weeks.  Start small by not logging on for an entire day, then progress more and try not logging on for a few more days.  Keep doing this and one day you’ll notice that you won’t even have that need to check your Facebook anymore.  Good luck!


“If you can’t stop thinking about someone’s update, that’s called “status cling.” ~ Jessica Park

Yoga – Hot vs. Regular

yoga quotes

I love yoga.  It changed my life and for the past 5 years I’ve been practicing it for my personal development.  I wanted to get myself into a routine, work on my health, look and feel good and do something natural that’s existed for centuries.  I was always fascinated by people who practiced yoga daily.  I envied their discipline, flexibility, strength, and obviously their amazing bodies.  I kept telling myself, I am going to be a yogi one day.  So, instead of telling myself, I started doing it.

I first experienced yoga when I was in my teens while in gym class.  We took a few lessons and that was the extent of my expertise on the subject.  So, before diving into a yoga routine I wanted to find out more about it.  I did some research and realized I didn’t know the first thing about yoga, even if I remembered a few things from my old gym class.  Did you know there are like a million styles of yoga?  Well, not really a million, but there are many styles!  Once I typed yoga in Google, a zillion hits popped up with names like, Hatha, Kundalini, Yin, Moksha, Bikram yoga and etc..  I didn’t even know what I was looking at.  So, I turned to a friend who had taken a few yoga lessons and she suggested that I try hot yoga.

I typed hot yoga in Google and it narrowed it down to a list of locations that offered it and so I clicked on the one closest to me, which taught Bikram yoga.  I checked out their schedule and rates and decided I’d try their Introductory package for new students and tried 10 days of hot yoga.  Immediately going into the room I realized this is not what I remembered yoga to be.  I walked into a 40 degrees Celsius heated sauna like room and immediately started sweating.  I probably guzzled down 4 bottles of water in less than 1 hour.  At first it was hard to breath, especially since I have asthma, because of the excess heat.  But, as we progressed with the poses it got easier and more comfortable.  By the end of the 1hr 30mins session, it felt as if I had sweat all the toxins out of my body.  It was not only a cleanse internally but also externally.  For the first time, my skin looked and felt so much better and healthier.  I was hooked.

After practicing hot yoga for a few years, I decided I wanted to understand why there were so many different styles and how they varied.  So, I started to attend classes that offered regular yoga, some of which include Hatha, Asthanga, Moksha, Vinyasa, and Restorative yoga.  I realized after attending the different classes that each style offered something unique and different.  Some styles concentrated on strengthening the mind and body, while other styles focused on relieving stress and pain.  Vinyasa is a style where you flow from pose to pose melodically, almost like a dance.  Whereas, Asthanga is a Power yoga where you concentrate on building muscle strength and stretching the body simultaneously and is often physically demanding.  Finally, Restorative yoga is a combination of meditation and yoga which concentrates only on 5 poses throughout the session while holding those poses for 15 mins at a time.  Regular yoga occurs in a standard, room temperature, studio and you will notice that you won’t sweat as much unless it’s an intensive power yoga session.

After trying both hot vs. regular yoga, I would have to say I personally enjoy hot yoga much more.  I kill two birds with one stone, I get to practice yoga while detoxing because of the sauna like conditions.  If you can’t handle heat, I suggest NOT to try it because it is very strenuous on the lungs while trying the poses.  It becomes very uncomfortable at times and you feel like you need air but you are not allowed to leave the studio, as it affects the other students.  If you want to learn the techniques specifically, then I suggest you try Hatha yoga, which is the original yoga.  All styles of yoga originated from Hatha yoga and added their own twists.  Hatha yoga will teach you all the poses and the techniques that go with them.  Once you’ve mastered that, you can try Vinyasa because it helps you flow from pose to pose and allows the development of breathing techniques.  Finally, after you’ve conquered that, you can try power yoga through Asthanga, which will really help train and challenge your body using everything you learned from yoga.

Time to reflect:

Have you ever tried yoga?  If you have, what’s your favourite style of yoga?  If you haven’t, I really recommend you try out a few classes.  Don’t just buy a package and commit to one yoga centre.  Try out different places and styles by purchasing their Introductory New Student package which is often no more than $20 and lasts for 7-10 days.  That way you can get accustomed to the practice of yoga, check out the different schedules to see which one fits your lifestyle and timing and you can figure out which style is suited for you.  Sometimes you will find that one particular style of yoga may not be suited for you and it would be awful to be stuck with an expensive package.  Go out and try it!


My Mind is Still

For a while now I have been searching for spiritual guidance.  I lost my soul a while back and have been trying to reconnect with it.  I tried many ways to reconnect and the only time I felt any type of connection was during prayer.  It was during prayer that I felt this tingling sensation run through my body.  This feeling was something that I never experienced anywhere else.  I felt special and thought that prayer was my direct route to Spirituality and God.  But, I thought to myself, there has to be another way to feel that same energy I felt during prayer without having to just pray.  So, I tried meditating.

After failing to understand meditation because I wasn’t ready for it in the past, I was a little reluctant to try it again.  But something inside me kept crying out for spiritual enlightenment.  So, I took a few free courses that were offered at local ashrams and meditation centres around where I lived.  Then I upgraded to workshops conducted by meditation gurus such as Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey.  I needed to master the techniques involved in meditation so I took one on one courses with meditation teachers that offered “Simply Meditation”.

As I kept practicing meditation, I started experiencing that exact same tingling sensation run through my body.  But this time, that tingling and numbing sensation wasn’t the only thing that I was aware of.  I could feel an intense energy in my body, that I was able to achieve because I reached a stillness in my mind.  Periodically, during the meditation, my mind would become so still that all I could concentrate on was the silence.  While becoming aware of the silence, my body spewed this warm liquid energy that vibrated so fast and hard that a tingling sensation emitted through each cell in my body.  I was simultaneously feeling a vibrant energy and a stillness in the mind.

Before, I used to chase after an experience that would allow me to feel that same tingling, numbing and vibrant energy that I would only feel during prayer.  I found that same energy through meditation.  As I practiced mediation on a deeper level I experienced something even more phenomenal, I experienced stillness in my mind.  I can now simultaneously feel a high frequency of energy run through my body while my mind is completely still.  It’s a stillness where there is no thought or worry, just emptiness, a darkness, but a comfortable and happy quiet calm that exists.  Sure I still have floods of thoughts that pop into my mind.  But, I am able to push those thoughts aside and then just be still for periods of time.  As I keep practicing, I am noticing that those periods of time are getting longer and becoming easier to achieve.  I am addicted to this stillness in my mind.

Time to reflect:

Have you ever felt anything while meditating?  Have you experienced this feeling anywhere else or while trying something?  Practice meditating on a deeper level and allow your mind to reach a stillness.  Once your mind reaches that point of stillness you will tap into a feeling and energy that will leave you feeling invigorated.


“To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.” ~ Lao Tzu

Learning to Detach

While on my spiritual journey toward enlightenment I have learned many valuable lessons.  The most important lesson I learned to date, is to detach.

I am the type of person that needs to be in control.  If I am not in control of my senses, my surroundings, the outcomes and etc. I feel anxious and I lack confidence.  It’s human nature to fear the unknown.  I am well aware of this, but my fear of the unknown has cost me a lot in my life.  Because I didn’t have faith or trust in my visions and I didn’t have a concrete idea of the outcome, I opted to choose much safer and more predictable outcomes that appeared to be in my control.  This was obviously not how I wanted to live, completely losing control because I was consumed with being in control.

I am a spontaneous spirit now, but, for the most part of my life I needed to be in control of everything.  This obsessive need hindered a lot of personal growth and led me down many negative paths where I couldn’t objectively choose the right decision for me or take calculated risks because of my delusional fears.  I always had to know exactly what would happen or else I wouldn’t even tread in that direction.  But, as I continued to experience life’s problems, I understood that the Universe was simply trying to relay a message to me.  It was trying to teach me time and time again to detach and to learn to let go.

I now know that the Universe wants me to have faith in myself and everything around me.  It wants me to trust in the positive energy that is flowing.  It’s very important to detach from what is holding you back.  In my case, it was my obsessive need to know everything before I tried to pursue things further.  I have learned to let go of my fears and trust that the outcome I imagine in my head is only a delusion.  I still have fears, don’t get me wrong but, I learned to detach so that the fear wouldn’t control my life and my decisions anymore.  Instead, going forward, I will choose to focus on what I can control while leaving the rest up to fate to see how things play out.  I know that by letting go, more often than not, the outcome is far greater than what I could’ve ever imagined.  God and the Universe always has a greater plan than what we can foresee.

So, by experiencing the bad, learning to detach and letting go of my obsession to maintain control, I was able to see God and the Universe’s magic and power.  To date, I keep getting blown away by what God and the Universe offers.  This is the reason why I learned to detach, because the power I feel now, after letting go, is far greater than the fear that used to reside within me.

Time to reflect:

Are you obsessing over something that keeps holding you back?  Are you afraid to move ahead with confidence because you don’t know the outcome?  My friend, it might be time for you to learn to detach.  Detaching yourself from what holds you back will give you power, a power to trust yourself and your inner voice.  Learning to let go and believing in a greater plan, will help you achieve all your goals.  In the process, you also relieve a lot of stress and pressure that you might unconsciously put on yourself.  Good luck!


“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.”  ~ Jean de La Fontaine


I am human.  No matter how motivated or strong I may be, from time to time, my emotions get the better of me.  I take pride in the progress I’ve made so far toward my personal growth.  I am in control and have a plan that I am consciously sticking too.  But, a few days back, one of my closest friends sent me a text msg claiming that my ex-husband posted pictures of his newborn son and his family.  I already knew deep down that he had moved on and was well aware that his life continued without even a hiccup.  But, the reality of seeing it with my own eyes struck a sensitive chord.

My initial reaction was to smile from ear to ear as I looked upon his beautiful, cute little round face.  He is so perfect with his tiny nose, round eyes, and a head full of hair.  My heart felt such joy as I looked at their happy family and wished them nothing but health and prosperity.  Then as I continued to gaze over the picture a shadow of doubt was cast in my mind.  Doubt quickly set in and a flood of emotions came into my soul making me question whether I had made the right decision or not.   I completely regressed.

All the progress I made emotionally to help heal my soul reverted back to my early stages of pre-growth.  I went right back to how I felt before I had the courage to move on and be content with my decision.  As I started to regress I realized there were things that I could do to help me get over this.  I needed to focus and give myself some tough love.  I always look for sympathy and victimize myself with situations that have nothing to do with me.  In this case, after regressing to my old ways of feeling bad I realized I was not going to allow myself to repeat the same patterns of dealing with how I felt.  This time, I was going to give myself some tough love, no more Ms. Nice Girl.  I’ve been way to nice on myself in the past and that in turn would hinder my progress and in fact, would sometimes even push me backward.  This time, the strong me took over and consciously admitted some hard facts and recited some affirmations.

  • So what if he moved on, that’s a fact, you already knew this.
  • So what if he has a child, you’re not ready to have a family now.
  • You chose to leave because the life you were leading was not making you happy.
  • The life you left behind was not your true identity.
  • The type of person you were while in that relationship was detrimental to your success and personal development.
  • You didn’t like who you were and acted like while being married to your ex.
  • You are so much happier and satisfied with who you are now.
  • You are clairvoyant and focused on creating your life’s purpose for this world.
  • You have a deeper connection with God and your soul and do not need material things to keep you happy.
  • You have realized what is most important to you in this world.
  • You are finally free, free of any guilt or doubt that may have transpired from your past decisions.

After giving myself a little tough love, I reaffirmed all my current beliefs.  I needed to dedicate some much needed time to all the positives in my life.  I prayed and meditated.  I prayed to give thanks, ask for strength and to repent for my sins.  I expressed my gratefulness for all that I have and that I am.  Finally, I meditated to validate with my inner being that the path I am on now, is exactly where I need to be.  I now know that I was meant to see that picture.  The universe wanted me to see it, to help me realize that I did in fact, make the right decision.

Time to reflect:

Do you regress?  Is is caused by something that is out of your control?  Do you find yourself immediately regressing into old habits even after you’ve made such good progress?  Catching yourself regress is the first step toward fixing the problem.  Then try doing something different to help you cope with the regression.  Give yourself some tough love or be extra nice if you’re usually hard on yourself.  Do something different to help you react differently.  By consciously being aware that you are dealing with the SAME OLD FEELINGS but handling it DIFFERENTLY is going to really do wonders for your emotional development.  You will see that you can choose how you want to react.  Soon, you will be aware of the many other options for handling your problems other than simply resorting to old behavioural patterns.  

New year, new rules

A very happy new year to everyone!  I just got used to writing 2013 and now I can’t believe that it’s 2014.  Boy, does time fly or what?  But with the new year comes an important transitional time in everyones lives.  It’s a chance to create new goals, dreams, wishes, and rules.

To be honest though, how many times have we come to this phase in our lives all to fall back into our old habits only a few weeks or months later?  Well this time around I am not going to allow this to happen.  What I have come to realize is I tend to like and try too many things all at the same time.  When I follow my natural instincts it takes me on multidimensional levels that I can’t even keep up with.  I get lost in my pursuit of information and then lose track of the progress I make because I am so consumed with too many subjects.

I have decided to set two very specific rules for myself this year.  Why two?  Because I feel the old me always took on way more than I could chew.  The old me would always be the strong starter but weak finisher.  The new year is bringing about a new me with new rules.

Rule # 1 – Set deadlines for my goals and hold myself accountable for my choices, whether good or bad.  

I am constantly dreaming, wishing, planning, researching and aspiring to do amazing things.  However, a goal is nothing but a dream and a wish if there is no set deadline.  That is the honest truth.  Before I can start achieving results and analyze my progress I have to know what I am comparing myself too.  I can’t compare myself to others because we have different sets of dreams and wishes.  But, I can compare my results and analyze them based on the deadlines I set.  If I don’t set a deadline how will I know if I achieved anything or not?  If I’m constantly and aimlessly shooting for things but don’t have a finish point how will I ever know if I even made my dreams come true.  So this years rule # 1 for me is to set deadlines while holding myself accountable for all the choices that lead up to my goal.

Rule # 2 – Be consistent and focused on one thing at a time and finish what I started.

Again, being a Jill of All Trades and Master of None I tend to chew more than I can bite.  I start many things but lose focus and tend to leave many of my wishes unfulfilled.  This year is going to be all about setting my goals, being focused and consistent with following through with the appropriate actions to help achieve those goals and finally finishing what I started.  I plan to do this by tackling one goal at a time.  I have been planning a lot and with all great visions 80% of ones work needs to be dedicated toward planning.  But I am done planning and am ready for the remaining 20%, which is the implementation phase of my goals.  I will remain focused on doing exactly that and hopefully all my dreams will come to fruition in the near future.

I don’t believe I’m being unrealistic and nor do I believe I have set out to do the unachievable. I am setting real rules that I know I can follow.  I am setting up realistic scenarios to help encourage my progress.  I am very satisfied and content with my decisions and I am looking forward to this year being one of the best I have experienced so far.

Time to reflect:

If you are like me and you set too many resolutions and goals in the beginning of the year and then fail to achieve more than 80% of them, try applying this tool in your life.  Pick only one or two rules you want to set for yourself.  By focusing your attention and simplifying things for yourself, you allow yourself the opportunity to actually achieve your resolution.  It’s great to have a positive attitude going into the new year.  But maintaining that same positivity throughout the year is a difficult task if you try too much at once.  So try to simplify things in your already complicated life and choose one or two things that you know you have a high success rate of achieving and build your year from that.  As the year goes on and you achieve your desired goals, set new ones (again by simplifying) and start a new resolution mid year.  Keep doing this and you will see that by 2015, you will have achieved way more than you even set out to do.  Good luck!


“Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now.”  ~ Denis Waitley

Hair loss

Hair loss for both men and women is hard to deal with.  Psychologically and physically it can take a toll on a persons emotions and well being.  Often genetics, stress, and lifestyle resort to hair loss.  Many people assume that genetics is the only factor involved in hair loss but in today’s fast paced life of stress, fast foods and improper diets, and beauty enhancements it is easy to succumb to hair loss even if genetically you’re not inclined to lose hair.

Both my parents always had full, thick, lush, silky and beautiful hair up until their 30s.  But something transpired chemically in both of them that resulted in hair thinning, loss and almost complete balding as they hit their 40s and 50s.  As I watched both my parents deal with hair loss I started freaking out and thinking, is this my future?  I do not want to deal with this problem at least not until I am in my 60s or 70s.  I needed to first figure out what caused their hair loss in their 30s and what I could do naturally to prevent it from happening and progressively getting worse.

After researching I came to realize that stress was the leading cause of hair loss for my parents.  Both my parents are entrepreneurs and work 7 days a week.  My mom works full time in the day for the government but goes to the office in the evenings to handle all the finances.  Constantly working combined with poor dietary habits and lack of water created a lot of stress that ultimately affected their health and immune systems.  As their immune systems were being destroyed because of poor habits and prescription medication, they were unable to produce proper hormones or chemicals necessary for the natural regrowth and replenishment of hair.  This cycle continued and as the years passed, both my parents continued losing their hair.

Doing just one thing won’t change the problem of hair loss.  Combining a few things such as including a proper diet, taking in proper nutrients and consciously taking care of the hair can lead to hair growth and prevention of further hair loss.  Take a look at the information I  gathered regarding hair loss and some of the tools I apply and some products I personally use to help me deal with this.  Try some of these tricks to help you, but remember, doing just one thing won’t change your problem.  Also, make sure you’re not allergic to any of the products I mentioned below before trying them.

Causes of hair loss

  • Stress
  • Immune dysfunction and auto-immune diseases
  • Trauma to the scalp
  • Side effects of chemotherapy or other prescription drugs
  • Hormonal imbalances such as – thyroid gland dysfunction, pregnancy, menopause, excessive male hormones
  • Hereditary factors in men
  • Ageing
  • Overdosing with vitamin A
  • Fungal infections of the scalp

~ Proper diet and consciously living healthy can drastically affect hair loss.  Here are a few things to note about useful foods and supplements and natural remedies that can help you deal with problems of hair loss.

Foods & Juices

  • Cabbage, broccoli, brussel sprouts, onion and garlic are high in organic sulphur, which stimulates hair growth
  • Alfalfa in its sprouted form is a valuable source of phyto-estrogens which help to counteract the effect of excessive male hormones on the hair follicles
  • Silicon rich foods such as alfalfa and onion help the growth of strong and healthy hair
  • Carrot, broccoli and beetroot contain beta-cerotene essential to reduce inflammation in the scalp
  • Garlic contains selenium, which reduces inflammation in the scalp
  • Ginger can help speed up hair growth and reduce dandruff and inflammation as it’s a natural anti-inflammatory agent

~ By combining these items in a juice smoothie or eating them raw you ensure a healthy diet rich in proteins and necessary nutrients to help improve the circulation of oxygen rich blood to the scalp.

Juice smoothie recipe for Hair loss

  • 1 cup alfalfa sprouts
  • 2 cabbage leaves or 2 brussels sprouts
  • 1 cup broccoli florets
  • 1 medium carrot
  • 2 slices red onion
  • 1 medium beetroot and tops
  • 1/2 to 1 clove garlic (optional)
  • 2 slices of watermelon (to sweeten if desired)


  • Essential fatty acids such as flaxseed oil, salmon oil and evening primrose oil
  • Vitamin E to reduce scarring of hair follicles and improve circulation
  • Silica is one of the most essential nutrients our bodies need for healthy functioning and can drastically improve skin and hair growth – comes in the form of a pill or gel -bamboo, horsetail and collodial silica
  • Red palm or coconut oil

Natural remedies & preventative measures

  • Red palm oil or coconut oil – heat oil for 20 seconds, massage into scalp and run through hair, leave in for 2 hours or as long as desired, wash out oil with SLS and paraben free shampoos and conditioners (twice)
  • Red palm oil – also helps reduce greys while promoting healthy hair growth
  • Ginger – rub the juice from ginger roots onto balding or thinning areas of hair, let it sit and wash out, it allows stimulation of blood flow to the scalp
  • Silica gel – add 1 tablespoon of silica gel to smoothies, water, or consume it directly, or take 1 silica capsule a day
  • Avoid blow drying – avoid blow drying your hair after washing it, try to naturally dry it using a towel or air dry it
  • Avoid brushing hair while wet – brushing the hair daily while dry makes you lose 50-100 strands on its own, but doing it while the hair is wet causes breakage and damage directly to the hair follicles
  • Avoid chemical products whenever you can or use organic products free of parabens and SLS – styling the hair daily with harsh chemicals and products can lead to hair loss and damage to the scalp
  • For women: avoid hair extensions – constantly wearing extensions adds weight to the hair follicles and causes pulling, this slowly damages the roots and creates balding in the areas that have constant pressure or tightness


What to do when life burns you

Recently I posted a blog called “Let it burn”, about using negative feelings created by your mind to fuel and drive you toward accomplishing goals or overcoming negativity.  The reason why I posted that blog was because out of nowhere, through no fault of my own and while trying to do a good deed, I was stricken with an unfortunate incident that resulted in the loss of my assets and all my future investments.  All the hard work over the course of my life and predominantly the last 5 years amounted to absolutely nothing, financially, because of this incident.  I was feeling so much hate, anger, frustration, sadness, betrayal, regret and doubt in myself and this world.  I couldn’t understand how I went from feeling so positive and high on life and motivation to being dropped a million feet below ground level and into an abyss of darkness.

This compelled me to write my blog as a means to help channel my feelings and release the negativity.  After I wrote the blog, I had a different attitude toward this ordeal.  I was slowly drifting away from behaving the old way and consciously trying to handle this situation a new way.  I usually don’t publicly admit my flaws or share my lows, but I felt this time it was necessary.  I was being true to who I am and doing something that my inner voice guided me to do.  As I learned to handle this ordeal and move past it, I learned to consciously apply tools that could help guide others through similar situations.  Because life decided to burn me yet again, I finally learned what to do.

The universe taught me an invaluable lesson through this ordeal.  I never appreciated and understood the value of my lows until this time, when my character was truly tested.  During this ordeal I experienced a plethora of emotions.  At first I resorted to my old ways of behaving and handling situations.  I cried and felt sorry for myself and had a self defeating attitude about the situation and wanted to give up.  Then anger developed because it wasn’t fair that I had to deal with this after being good for so long, I didn’t deserve this.  Followed by hurt and betrayal that the universe would deliberately, through no fault of my own, try to teach me a lesson in the midst of being on a good and positive flow all to slow me down.  Then to finally accepting, handling and moving past this ordeal with confidence, contentment and fulfillment.

I have personally learned to cope with my problems in life by documenting how I feel.  I usually write in a diary or journal or sometimes video tape myself.  I do this because it allows me to express what I am going through with no judgment.  After doing that, I choose an activity that will rid me of the negative feelings, either through exercise, prayer, or meditation.  After reinforcing the positive feelings I concentrate on being grateful for the event and consciously move on.  When life burns you, you can either fall or use it to make you stronger.  I am not about to let life destroy me when I fought so hard to be created.  So here is a true depiction of my emotions and how I coped with one of life’s burns.  Maybe you can try something similar next time life tries to burn you.  I strongly suggest you try incorporating meditation or prayer if you haven’t tried it already.

How I dealt with one of life’s burns:

  • I cried
  • I felt sorry for myself and slept for days
  • Didn’t eat, stopped working out and even going out
  • Allowed my mind to race about all the possible negative outcomes
  • Screamed at the world, God and the universe for allowing this to happen and declaring my hate
  • Caught myself becoming this ugly, hateful, deceitful and pitiful human being ready to give up and blame everything else to justify behaving this way
  • Realized I didn’t want to be this type of person that would allow life “situations” to affect me this drastically and change me from being this calm and collected person
  • Needed to immediately calm myself down from the hysteria I was feeling on the inside and what I was portraying on the outside as I threw a hissy fit
  • Started praying and calling out to God, asking for help and guidance
  • An inner voice kept nagging at me to voice how I was feeling, out loud even if no one was listening, so I turned to my computer and wrote my blog “Let it burn” to express how I was feeling at that exact moment
  • I felt anger and needed to express that anger and use it to fuel my motivation instead of have it use and consume me
  • I had to make a conscious decision to use my feelings to my advantage
  • I then immediately turned to meditation to help look inward, I performed an extreme deep breathing meditation to help relax my hysterical soul and to calm myself as I cried
  • I concentrated so hard on the breathing that I released all the sadness, tension, hate and anger and I became still and calm to the point where I couldn’t even remember why I was feeling so hysterical seconds before
  • I felt embarrassed and ashamed of my initial reaction of hate and anger toward God, the world and the universe
  • I finally accepted the situation for what it was, a learning experience and to be grateful for the grander scheme of things, this situation was truly a blessing in disguise
  • Thanked myself for listening to my inner voice and allowing my inner voice to speak louder than the psychotic voices of hate created by my mind
  • Documented my journey through this ordeal and released negative feelings while utilizing them appropriately, and developed positive feelings to help reinforce my true character, a warrior that never gives up
  • Came up with a contingency plan for the new year

Time to reflect:

Are you going through something right now that is really testing your character.  Is it making you doubt everything you ever believed in or worked hard for?  Do you want to give up and allow defeat to consume you?  My friend, trust me when I say this, it will get better.  But you have to choose to make it better for yourself.  You cannot allow your mind to over power your inner voice, which will calm and guide you.  Your mind will try to scare you but you have to choose not to listen and choose to concentrate on using that fear to motivate you.  If you catch yourself feeling like the old you, that’s your inner voice guiding you and telling you to change how you’re feeling.  Then choose to feel different by meditating or doing an activity that will force you to change or express your feelings through some outlet.  Focus on feeling calm and releasing the tension.  After concentrating on feeling good and grateful, be thankful for the experience, document it if you wish, and allow the negativity of the event to simply pass your life and think about what you want to do next.  Good luck 🙂 


“That which does not kill us makes us stronger”. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche