Family – why we have them

For so long I kept wondering what the purpose of family was.  Is it to create a close knit network, build communities, pass along history and secrets through generations or to not make us feel alone?  There are sooooo many reasons why mankind as well as creatures of all kinds have family.  My interpretation is that we have family to help teach us things about ourselves that eventually push us to reach our individual infinite potential.

I believe that God/the universe has devised a plan for each of us to eventually reach our potential.  Now, if you believe in reincarnation, the idea is that we are brought back each life to hopefully accomplish tasks and goals that we were unable to achieve in our past lives.  Knowing this about reincarnation one could apply this very same principle to our family dynamic.  We are provided with family members who are created in our likeness.  Our family teaches us many lessons in life through their individual experiences.  We learn how similar or how different we are and how to handle one another and life situations.  It’s as if we get multiple copies of ourselves to look at while we live our lives in this lifetime.  Family teaches us to manage all these lessons from different perspectives, but, ultimately we have to devise a conclusion for ourselves.

What I mean is this.  Our parents are half of who we are.  We are half of our father and half of our mother.  The traits we develop are passed along from them, both physical and non-physical.  The life situations they go through alter our own lives as well, as we watch them deal with and overcome the lessons.  We are given many chances in life to do the right thing for us because of what we witness family go through.  Sometimes we will notice our parents making unnecessary sacrifices that we, ouselves, would never make.  We learn not be like them and repeat those mistakes to help propel us further toward our goals.  Other times we notice our parents providing love, support, and guidance that we wish to mimick and apply to those other people who we wish to share our lives with, that is not family.  We witness and experience many lessons by having family.

Take a moment to look at your own family and try to understand how they are here to help you.  Look at their individual flaws, strenths and experiences.  Then make a judgement about what you were meant to learn from them.  Maybe, your father is supposed to teach you to be more self-sacrificing, while your mother is supposed to teach you balance by being more “selfish” or accommodating only to herself and her family.  Maybe, your brother is supposed to teach you what type of man you should be with, someone who offers love and support and pushes you up instead of pulling you back.  Maybe your sister is supposed to teach you to be fearless while she breaks boundaries and becomes a trail blazer.  Look at your life and your family dynamic to understand yourself more.  Find out how you are similar and what sets you apart.  Take the lessons as a means to understand how to reach your full potential and use their life experiences to project yourself into infinite potential.

Time to reflect:

Did you ever wonder why we have families?  I think it’s to help us reach our potential in a fair way.  We cannot be given all the answers in life, but we can be guided.  The guidance comes in the form of family.  As we witness them go through things, we are able to apply those lessons and minimize the hurt or maximize the good results.  Family exists to serve a special purpose.  We are here to learn from one another and to use one another to eventually reach our full potential.  Look at your own family and notice the great things as well as the poor things.  See how they fit in your own life and what you can take away from them and their lessons.  If we are blessed to have them, family is God’s way of giving us a chance to reach the unknown with love and support.

mindbodysoul

“In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.” ~ Alex Haley

 

Death

Death is inevitable and the sad reality is that we all have to deal with it eventually.  Most people fear death because of the unknown and the realization that they will never be with their loved ones again.  The saddest part of death is dying alone and having no one by your side as you move from this life onto the next.  Society and human nature, for the most part, deals with death through sadness and sorrow.  However, death should actually be a celebration of ones life and all the great and unique accomplishments. Why do we live with the idea of this inevitable sadness when we can choose to end our lives in a celebratory fashion instead?

A few days back my friends father passed away from stage 4 lung cancer.  The cancer spread throughout his body and he was deemed terminal and incurable.  As soon as the doctor diagnosed him as terminal their family’s collective attitude about his life changed.  I personally didn’t agree with how they handled the situation, but, as an outsider I am only entitled to my opinion and that is all.  Collectively they all gave up and decided whatever the doctor said was the only and final diagnosis.  Had this been my family, I would travel to the ends of the earth to find a second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and etc. professional medical and holistic opinion.  The overwhelming sorrow that my friends family faced in these past few weeks and months proved to me that when I pass, I want my family and friends to deal with my death completely differently.

I want my family and friends to celebrate my life and all the unique things that I was able to accomplish.  I want them to laugh instead of cry at the idea of never seeing me again.  I want to teach them to look at my passing as my new beginning to another journey.  I want to celebrate a life that was worth living and show everyone that death is not the end nor should it be sad.  Death marks the end of one life but it also marks the beginning of something that none of us are capable of comprehending.

When I refer to death I am not speaking of tragic or accidental deaths.  There are many deaths that occur that are unimaginable and unforeseen, such as children dying too young or good and undeserving people having their lives taken because of murder or illness and sometimes even the bad don’t deserve certain death sentences.  I am not speaking of deaths that occur through those means, because in those situations sorrow is completely understandable.  There is a mourning process and obligatory time is required to act as a tribute to the lost lives.  I just want to clarify this, because when I am referring to ending our lives on a happy note, I’m referring to situations where people are blessed to live long and fulfilling lives and can foresee their passing in the near future.

So, do you fear death?  Why?  Is it because of how you were raised and the misconceptions behind death that you were taught as a child?  Do you deal with death through sorrow?  I want you to understand that we can choose not to deal with death like this anymore.  We all know that it will happen eventually, so rather than anticipate a sorrow ending why not end our lives on a celebratory note?  Why not leave this world with a bang and smiling?  We entered this world crying, but, I believe we should leave this world smiling and laughing because we were able to experience life.  We should leave our families with the memories of us being happy because life happened not because it’s over.

Time to reflect:

How will you handle death when the time comes?  Will you want to leave this world smiling or crying?  Will you want to leave your family with great memories or sorrow?  Think about it, because it’s actually a choice we have.  Sure we cannot choose life over death, but, we can definitely choose how we want to deal with death when our time comes.  So, I urge you, choose to deal with death with happiness.  I wish you a long and fulfilling life.  

mindbodysoul

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” ~ Mark Twain

 

Standards

We all live by certain standards.  Standards are normal behavioural measurements based on the expectations of society, culture, family and many other factors.  Standards are what we base our wants, desires, wishes and expectations on.  We look at others and compare ourselves to their material and personal gains.  We wish for what others have or achieved and compare it to ourselves if we haven’t achieved those things.  Or standards might be instilled within ourselves.  Certain expectations of ourselves that we feel we need to always meet.  For example, brushing our teeth every day to maintain a healthy mouth or showering regularly.   These standards are set as a means to provide guidelines.  If we follow these guidelines we can achieve certain results that follow after meeting and surpassing those guidelines.

Now that we know we all have standards, what type of standards do we set for ourselves?  Basic standards involve, getting up every day, maintaining cleanliness, going to work or school, eating, coming home and going to sleep all to start all over again the next day.  If we follow these normal standards we will lead normal lives, much like most individuals on this earth.  But, amongst the very normal mass we have the few abnormal ones who surpass these standards and do and attain far more in life than what is basic.  Those individuals are the ones who we all look up too, our heros or role models.  The celebrities or the rich and elite who have so much more than the basic standards.

Now, I’m not saying that we all have to live and want to be rich and super elite so that we can get EVERYTHING in the world.  No!  What I’m trying to point out is the differences in the standards of these two groups, normal vs. abnormal.  We all have to set certain standards for ourselves instead of following the standards of what others expect from us.  When we follow other standards we fail to discover who we are as individuals.  The normal person will follow standards set forth by others who have done it before.  The abnormal person will be the one to set standards for others to follow.  This person will do something out of the norm by realizing his/her potential thus, achieving great results.  That is the difference.  I want us all to be abnormal in the sense that we set our own standards.

I always aspired to live a certain lifestyle one day.  Instead of aspiring to do so, I made it my standard.  I told myself that I would not live another day without meeting those expectations from myself.  I want to live a health conscious life so I set the standard that I expect myself to workout by going to the gym at least twice a week, combine that with yoga three times a week and to eat healthy and regularly.  This expectation might not seem like a lot to another individual who already has this as his/her standard.  But, for me, I needed to set this guideline and force myself to meet and surpass this as a way to assure my personal development.  Now that I have set this as my standard, I expect this out of myself all the time.

We don’t all have to set standards of becoming the richest or most successful person in the world.  But, we all do have to set individual standards for ourselves based on what we really value.  I expect a lot out of myself because I set high standards based on my dreams and vision.  I will build who I am by meeting and surpassing these standards every day, week, month and year till the day I die.  I want to do this to build positive habits and to realize my full potential.  I know I can achieve anything I want, but, if I don’t know what I want, by ways of my standards, then how will I ever know if I’ve achieved it?

Time to reflect:

Do you have standards or are you following the norms of society?  Going forward, set standards for yourself based on your own needs and wants, not those of others.  Set simple expectations of yourself like volunteering once a month, or having dinner with your mother every 3rd weekend of the month.  By setting these standards based on what you want out of your life, you will be able to gauge your personal growth and you will reach your full potential.  You will be able to do this because, you will finally realize what your full potential is.  

mindbodysoul

“Let us be about setting high standards for life, love, creativity, and wisdom. If our expectations in these areas are low, we are not likely to experience wellness. Setting high standards makes every day and every decade worth looking forward to”. ~ Greg Anderson

Consistency

I have come to realize that in order to live a magnificent life, one needs to be outstanding at all times.  You can’t pick and choose which day you want to be outstanding, you have to be that way consistently.  Well, you can live a life of inconsistency but where will that lead you?  It may lead you to a mediocre life that meets the basic standards of this society.  You may live a comfortable life based on what others believe your comfort should be.  Or you may live a very unfulfilled life, always wishing you had done more, knowing you had the potential.  Whatever the case, if you are inconsistent, then expect to live a basic to comfortable life.

Consistency is one of those things that you have to develop.  It isn’t something that just happens, you have to work at being consistent.  Developing this “good” habit of being consistent leads to “excellent” habits which in turn leads to excellent outcomes.  Consistency occurs when you are able to perform your A game every day and with everything you do.  Consistency in your work, your exercise or diet, your relationships, your personal development and etc. all lead to living a very magnificent life.  By being consistent you are helping yourself achieve greater results.

Human nature is to cut ourselves slack when we realize we are burning out.  I can’t tell you how many times I gave up on an exercise routine or diet because I thought I achieved enough results to satisfy me momentarily.  I would reason with myself and say that, “oh I’ve been doing so great for the past 2 weeks so I can cut some slack now and relax for a week”.  These little inconsistent patterns led to so many, “I wish I had started earlier” or “I wish I didn’t cut myself slack” moments.  By picking and choosing which days I wanted to be on my A game, I set myself up for failure.  Instead of being on my A game all the time and every day, the progress I would make in 2 weeks would mean nothing when I would relax for 1 week.  By taking the unnecessary time off I would negate all the growth that occurred in the prior 2 weeks.

Being consistent not only leads to outstanding results but it is a way of life.  I have made a conscious decision that I want to be consistent in everything I do going forward.  I will make conscious choices to be consistent at everything I do.  Even if it’s something really small like consistently making my bed every morning.  Or consistently going to yoga 3 times a week, every week.  By starting small and consistently doing the small things while on my A game, I can then tackle the larger habits of inconsistency I have.  Eventually, this will lead to me to living a consistent life which will hopefully lead to many magnificent outcomes.

Time to reflect:

Are you inconsistent?  Do you cut yourself slack unnecessarily when you know you should continue giving your A game?  Well, stop!  Make the effort to be more consistent.  Start off by doing the small things that you know you put off or cut slack on, like cleaning your room or eating right every day.  By performing the little things as if you’re on your A game, you will start developing standards of expectations for yourself.  You will see outstanding results where you once saw ok results.  This standard will force you to grow and develop consistency in all of your actions.  So go ahead, start being consistent and start with the small things.  Soon you will see how magnificent your life will be, all because you chose to be consistent.  

mindbodysoul

“I’ve learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work”. ~ Louis C. K.

Freedom = Slavery

We supposedly live in a free society, but, most of us are slaves to comfort.  We have the freedom to do anything we want, yet, we choose to stay grounded and rooted in our comfort zone.  We have the freedom to act and behave any way we want yet we choose to wallow in stress.  We become robotic and stuck in a routine that hinders us from truly being free to explore our passions and desires and make the most of life.  The price of our freedom in this day and age is slavery to a comfortable numbness.

How many of us are slaves to comfort?  I’d say majority of us.  The freedom that is so proudly spoken of in our Western culture contradicts what freedom is really all about.  What does it mean to be free?  Does it mean paying thousands for a degree and getting post secondary education to work in a job that doesn’t provide satisfaction and fulfillment?  Is freedom living pay check to pay check waiting for the weekend to spend our hard earned money?  Is freedom being in a relationship where we settle instead of being with someone who uplifts and challenges us?  Is freedom choosing to sit in front of the TV instead of going out for a walk or maybe helping the homeless or helping clean the city we live in?

We say we are free, but what are we really free from?  We were all born free.  Free to be and do anything.  However, somewhere along the line we lost our freedom because we no longer understood the meaning of freedom.  Our definition became convoluted and delusional to meet the standards and expectations of a fast paced society.  A society run by capitalism, money and greed.  A society that is never satisfied with what we have and always wanting more.  This pursuit for constantly wanting more has held us back from truly becoming free spirits.  Free to learn, grow, understand, accept and create new and beautiful things.

In our pursuit for more, we have become slaves of this comfortable lifestyle.  Where we are taught, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.  Instead of being encouraged to, find new and innovative ways to make life better and easier to connect with ourselves on a deeper level.  Instead of finding new ways to increase our time with ourselves, we look to increase our pockets.  This cycle then becomes a part of who we are.  We are free slaves, slaves of this lifestyle of chasing after more and being comfortable with it instead of being content with what we have and finding fulfillment in ourselves while trying to create innovate ways to connect deeper with our souls.

So, I encourage you, break the shackles of slavery and truly become free.  Be free to pursue your passions and dreams.  Be free to think for yourself instead of being told what to think and do.  Be free to try something out of your comfort zone to help you grow and develop as a human being.  Be free to learn what it actually means to be FREE.

Time to reflect:

Are you free?  If so, what does it mean to be free?  Have all the money in the world?  All the opportunities in the world?  Or, does freedom mean to have the ability to pursue yourself?  Freedom means you can seek knowledge and truth to help you understand yourself better.  Freedom means to do what your inner voice leads you too.  Freedom means creating new and innovative ways to help human beings connect deeper with themselves, faster and easier.  Freedom is not being a slave to comfort which most of us are today.  You were born free, so take your birth right back and become FREE.  

mindbodysoul

“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds!” ~ Bob Marley

Congruency

Here is the truth about me…I have big dreams…but I am not motivated.  There is some sort of disconnect with my dreams and my actions.  I am lacking congruency.  Until I am able to become congruent with my vision and my actions I will remain demotivated.

Have you been on a quest to accomplish a task or goal?  If so, have you completed your task/goal?  If you haven’t, can you tell me why?  No?  Well, I can.  It’s because you are not congruent.  Now, I know what you’re thinking…“what the hell do you know about me to accuse me of not being congruent”.  And yes, you are right, I don’t know you, but if you haven’t accomplished your task or said goal, I don’t have to know you personally to know that you’re just not congruent.  It’s that simple.

I know this because I know what it’s like not to be congruent.  I am living proof of in-congruency.  I am one of those people that want, believe, dream and desire change and growth but I lack the actions to substantiate or validate those dreams and beliefs.  I lack action.  Because I lack action, no matter how much I dream or wish or want, it will NEVER happen, because I am not congruent.  My dreams don’t match my actions.  My dreams are bigger than my actions.  This is what causes in-congruency, when what you say, believe, and do, don’t match.

So how do we fix this?  Well, first off, we need to consciously admit our faults.  Yes, I admit, I lack action and therefore, I lack the motivation to follow through with appropriate actions that coincide with my dreams.  Next, I need to make a conscious effort to catch myself being incongruent.  Each time I have a wish, desire or want, I write it down.  This forces me to become obligated to this “list of things I want” and it reinforces my thoughts.  After I’ve written out my dreams and wants, I ask myself what actions could I take to help me eventually achieve what I want.  After going through the list of immediate and long term actions, I can clearly see how much more or little I need to do in order to accomplish my goal.  By doing this, I am able to gauge my current situation and progress and see if I am being congruent or not.  I can officially determine if I am on the right path, if I am making any progress even, or if there are more things within my capability that I should be doing.

By becoming congruent, you take control of your words which then become your actions.  I always wanted to be a woman that could confidently say, “you can take my word for it”.  Until now, I have not been able to be that type of woman, because I’ll admit, my words had very little meaning and value.  I said a lot and did very little.  But, now, after teaching myself to become congruent with my thoughts, words and actions, I can confidently tell others, “trust me”.

Time to reflect:

Are you incongruent?  Are you noticing a lack of motivation in your actions?  Are you the type of person who wants to do amazing things, but, your actions aren’t meeting up to the standards of your dreams?  Well, that’s because you need to become more congruent.  Congruency occurs when what you say and do match one another.  If you claim you’re on a diet, yet, you go to McDonald’s every day, you wishing and wanting to be healthy will NEVER happen.  Developing congruency is the key to succeeding in any goals.  So, teach yourself to become congruent and you will see how motivated you become and how quickly your words become your actions.  

mindbodysoul

“I believe the ultimate goal of living and refining your values is to identify and achieve congruence with universal principles”. ~ anonymous 

Yeezianity

http://yeezianity.com/

I was driving home and heard on the radio that a new Church and religion was established based on the philosophies and beliefs of Kanye West.  I’m not, nor have I ever been a fan of Kanye West so I am not trying to promote this new religion.  To be honest, I’m not even sure if this is a joke, another one of Kanye’s elaborate art projects, or if this is for real.  But, many have taken this seriously enough that there is now, a following of sorts for this new Church.  For more information on the Church you can check out the link above.

The religion I was born into, would have me disregard this information completely.  My birth religion taught me that no man shall CREATE a religion because it’s considered a sin.  I don’t agree with Kanye West or others claiming that he is our modern day Savior.  But, I must say, I am loving the 5 pillars that this religion abides by.

5 PILLARS

  1. All things created must be for the good of All
  2. No human being’s right to express themselves must ever be repressed
  3. Money is unnecessary except as a means of exchange
  4. Man possesses the power to create everything he wants and needs
  5. All human suffering exists to stimulate the creative powers of Man

This is obviously a time of awakening.  The entire Universe is spewing an energy that is being transferred into the minds, hearts and souls of every living creature.  I myself have completely changed my views and beliefs about religion and God.  The way I was taught to believe in religion does not serve its purpose anymore.  I understand the rules of religion, but, I believe in something deeper than just words written in multiple books.  I believe in a higher power that exists within us, not just a higher power.  I believe we have infinite potential as individuals and that we have been oppressed for many years in achieving that higher power.  I believe, as humans, we have yet to tap into our infinite potential.

I don’t believe Kanye is our Savior, but I do believe this “new religion” has a point.  So, I will sit back and watch as this unfolds and see what revolutions Yeezianty has to offer.

Time to reflect:

What do you think about Kanye West’s religion?  Do you believe he’s onto something?  Is this a ploy, hoax, joke or something to be taken seriously?  Whatever the case, take the time to reflect on why this religion is coming out now, in this day and age.  I think we need to look past the “religion” itself and focus more on the ultimate message it is trying to convey.

mindbodysoul
“Create for others what you would have created for yourself.” ~ anonymous

Learning to Detach

While on my spiritual journey toward enlightenment I have learned many valuable lessons.  The most important lesson I learned to date, is to detach.

I am the type of person that needs to be in control.  If I am not in control of my senses, my surroundings, the outcomes and etc. I feel anxious and I lack confidence.  It’s human nature to fear the unknown.  I am well aware of this, but my fear of the unknown has cost me a lot in my life.  Because I didn’t have faith or trust in my visions and I didn’t have a concrete idea of the outcome, I opted to choose much safer and more predictable outcomes that appeared to be in my control.  This was obviously not how I wanted to live, completely losing control because I was consumed with being in control.

I am a spontaneous spirit now, but, for the most part of my life I needed to be in control of everything.  This obsessive need hindered a lot of personal growth and led me down many negative paths where I couldn’t objectively choose the right decision for me or take calculated risks because of my delusional fears.  I always had to know exactly what would happen or else I wouldn’t even tread in that direction.  But, as I continued to experience life’s problems, I understood that the Universe was simply trying to relay a message to me.  It was trying to teach me time and time again to detach and to learn to let go.

I now know that the Universe wants me to have faith in myself and everything around me.  It wants me to trust in the positive energy that is flowing.  It’s very important to detach from what is holding you back.  In my case, it was my obsessive need to know everything before I tried to pursue things further.  I have learned to let go of my fears and trust that the outcome I imagine in my head is only a delusion.  I still have fears, don’t get me wrong but, I learned to detach so that the fear wouldn’t control my life and my decisions anymore.  Instead, going forward, I will choose to focus on what I can control while leaving the rest up to fate to see how things play out.  I know that by letting go, more often than not, the outcome is far greater than what I could’ve ever imagined.  God and the Universe always has a greater plan than what we can foresee.

So, by experiencing the bad, learning to detach and letting go of my obsession to maintain control, I was able to see God and the Universe’s magic and power.  To date, I keep getting blown away by what God and the Universe offers.  This is the reason why I learned to detach, because the power I feel now, after letting go, is far greater than the fear that used to reside within me.

Time to reflect:

Are you obsessing over something that keeps holding you back?  Are you afraid to move ahead with confidence because you don’t know the outcome?  My friend, it might be time for you to learn to detach.  Detaching yourself from what holds you back will give you power, a power to trust yourself and your inner voice.  Learning to let go and believing in a greater plan, will help you achieve all your goals.  In the process, you also relieve a lot of stress and pressure that you might unconsciously put on yourself.  Good luck!

mindbodysoul

“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.”  ~ Jean de La Fontaine