Addiction is a dangerous thing. We are surrounded by addiction. People are addicted to work, money, lifestyle, drugs, sex, social media, and etc.. How does one figure out when addiction takes over? Well, I’m not a scientist and I am not a psychologist, but I do know from personal experience that I was born with an addictive personality. I have always known, from the moment I was aware of the idea of addiction, that I was susceptible to addiction. Knowing this about myself has helped me make some critical decisions in my life that helped me avoid addiction.
Having an addictive personality led me to act out certain behavioural patterns. I would repeat the same song that I loved over and over again till the cassette tape ripped. Or once CD’s came out, the songs that I loved would be scratched so badly because it would be on repeat all the time. Or if I liked a particular food, I would eat it always until I got sick of it. These behavioural patterns made me very conscious of the fact that I was very susceptible to addiction if I got involved in the wrong type of activities.
For majority of my life, from childhood to my young adult years, I avoided drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes and doing drugs. I grew up believing that if I did any of those things, I would become addicted and I would throw my life away. I was strong willed then because I understood my weakness, my addictive personality. If I loved something, I knew I would do it over and over again until I was forced to stop. But, once I met my ex- husband, I felt like I was in control of my life and my choices. I knew I could separate myself from my actions and that my actions didn’t define me. So, we both started dabbling in the party life. I experimented with him in my university days and learned a ton about myself and my threshold.
One day I was completely in control and having recreational fun, to all of the sudden, finding myself suffering from withdrawals because of a prescription pill addiction. That was the day I realized I had hit rock bottom. The one thing that I was always so conscious about, was my addictive personality, and that is the one thing that completely crept up on me without me even realizing. That was the most disappointing thing about it all, that I didn’t even see it coming all the while knowing it was possible.
When fun turns into addiction, no one can pin point the exact moment. But, there are many triggers along the way. It’s hard to be aware of those triggers while on binges or while dealing with addiction. But, the signs are there. Try to notice how your friends and family react. Are they noticing things about you, or are they even blatantly telling you to stop certain things that are unhealthy? Those are all signs that you’ve changed and that maybe addiction has taken over. How you cope with it is very personal and everyone deals with it differently. We can sit and discuss endlessly on how to cope with addiction, but acknowledging that you have a problem will be the first step toward fixing it. One thing is for sure though, once addiction hits, it’s a disease that affects even the strongest individuals and I wish it on no one.
Time to reflect:
Do you have an addictive personality? If you do, do you consciously avoid certain things? If you do that’s great. It can be hard to stay away from certain things especially when you have a personality type that gravitates toward those unhealthy things. Addiction is not to be taken lightly and everyone suffering from it needs to address it as soon as possible. Don’t be ashamed of admitting when you need help. If you have hit rock bottom, that is where God put you to help save you.
“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol, morphine or idealism.” ~ C.G. Jung